But it's a beatiful ride. I just couldn't help to think of the whole adoption process when I heard this song on the radio. It must be Moon phase or something because Kate and Lauren both posted along the same lines this week.
Adoption is hard - no sugar coating it. In no way, shape, or form can anyone compare it to pregnancy. Yes, I know - I've never got to experience that wonderful world of pregnancy - glowing, happy, hair and nails growing long, everyone oohing and ahhing over you, getting monthly updates of how you are progressing, and KNOWING THAT IN 9 MONTHS YOUR CHILD WILL ACTUALLY BE IN YOUR ARMS!!! Uggh!!
In the Adoption World, many of us have already been down the fertility world of poking and proding and money pit before someone hits us over the head and tells us of the wonderful world of adoption. Then we attend a seminar, fall in love with the idea that there IS A CHILD FOR US somewhere out there! We're ready to leave on a jet plane soon after the seminar is over to find our child, only to realize that we first have to be APPROVED!! Now, how many people in this world become pregnant every day without an approval? Just isn't fair. Then we have to be fingerprinted and APPROVED by the government of not one country, but two countries if we are adopting internationally. But oh no, it does not dare end there. Then we fill out countless stacks of paper work (sometimes the same ones over and over and over). Then we wait.
If we are lucky enough, the stork arrives and delivers us our referral. Yes, that wonderful phone call or email with unbelievable news of a baby, toddler, child that is waiting for us. Then a picture/video arrives along with scary medicals to make a decision - yes or no. For us, it was no question. We knew that God had his hand in this, and we would let him guide us down this blind road ahead.
Next, we're off on a flight around the world to a far away land to meet our little prince and princess. Now, you might consider this the "beautiful ride" of this journey - if you were not the ones to have to hand your babies back over to the "Big House" caretakers (and your princess saying, "Daddy" for the first time as you are handing her over doesn't help the tears from falling) then practically be shoved back onto a crop duster of a plane and fly back home, not know or having any idea of when you would be returning. Yes, my friend, this would be the biggest "Life Ain't Always Beautiful" part of the story!!
Needless to say 7 months of waiting, crying, redoing paperwork, and writting down daily notes to my kids on the other side of the world was not therapy enough. Looking back I think I was just in survival mode.
Fast forward through the 2nd trip, court, flying home with 2 toddlers, and 18 months later - the whole journey was a BEAUTIFUL RIDE! I could not have even imagined that I would have ever taken this ride 10 years ago when I was first going through my infertility tests. Yet, Life has a funny way of knocking you down and picking you back up.
To ALL of those in this journey or thinking about starting this journey:
It is not easy, but it is ohh so well worth the ride. I know of several dear friends that are waiting, and have been waiting for a long time. Please know that your journey will
have a happy ending!!!
I wanted to write this yesterday since it was 20 years ago yesterday that a great man said
, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall
,". I truly believe that Ronald Reagan played a great role in opening the world of Russian adoption by trying to bring peace to this fighting world with these words.
As a side note, did anyone read the report on MSN yesterday about how women are flying to South Africa to seek fertility treatments? Does anyone else see a crock as to why doctors here in the USA are charging $12K for 1 IVF treatment (just the treatment), and for $6400 you can buy your airfare, hotel, and IVF treatment in South Africa??? Just ain't right!!!